I got a new lease car two weeks ago, and I love it!
I discovered it has a feature that I've never had on any car I've previously had. When it needs diesel, a light comes on, as with other cars I've had, but this one, when it gets dangerously low in fuel, the light starts flashing on and off. I like this! I'm easily pleased!
Wouldn't it be great if we could have a wee warning system like that when it comes to nurturing our mind? If only we had a flashing light that came on when we stopped nurturing our mind.
Actually, we do have a warning system in place. They are called emotions. They let us know by causing us pain that we are thinking something that is bad for us. In a situation that triggers off these thoughts, such as being out of our comfort zone, or rising to an annoying comment, we 'hook'. This process of 'hooking', or thinking a series of thoughts cause the emotional pain.
For example, we might go down the road of thinking thoughts that we are not good enough in a social situation, which might lead to emotional pain of embarrassment and anxiety. We are so wrapped up in our thoughts, i.e. our 'hooking' that we can't be in the 'here and now', and enjoy the social interactions in an authentic way. On top of that, if we don't see the emotional pain for what it is, just the 'warning light', we can start adding more bad thoughts to the 'hook' about how painful it is to be so shy, or shaky, or blushing, or panicky, making the hook bigger and the pain bigger as a result.
But maybe if we seen the emotional pain as the warning light that we are 'hooking', we could 'unhook' or 'let go' and stop the emotional pain. My website has some good tips on how http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/.
With the car, I might decide to be stubborn and ignore the flashing light, and carry on driving, but inevitably the car will come to a halt if I don't take decisive action and buy some fuel, no matter how new or shiny it is!
It isn't so clear cut with us humans if we ignore the warning signals. Yes, we probably come to a halt in the end, but we tend to chunter along for a while in a less than optimum way, getting ill; losing opportunities; forming addictions if we don't take decisive action to 'unhook'.
It's a new way of working, but it puts us in the driving seat!
Happy New Year
Liz
Friday 28 December 2007
Read This Several Times!
Here's something for you to get your head round!
When looking at ourselves and making changes, many of us, examining the way we are feeling, or something we are going through or have gone through in the past, look for an explanation or the 'point' of it all before we can feel we can let go and move on. We might often think, 'What's the point?' or, 'Why has this happened?'. We may go to therapy or counselling and pay someone a lot of money for them to help us find the explanation, or we may join a religious organisation or get into the new age scene to help put our experience into a nice framework that explains it all to us.
There may be a point in coming up with a point, but it stops us making progress if we insist on finding the point before we let go! What if we just postponed our need to find the point by asking ourselves, 'What if there is no need to find the point, at least for now?'.
The point is, whether there is a point or not is immaterial! We could just let go of our pain causing thoughts at the point of pain, and move on! Do we get the point?
Actually, our human egos put the idea into our heads that we need an explanation, or a point, as a way of keeping us where we are: as a way of putting off letting go and moving on.
I think letting go of the need to know the 'point' might give us more insight into what the point is in the end! Or maybe there is no point!!
www.stressalternatives.co.uk
When looking at ourselves and making changes, many of us, examining the way we are feeling, or something we are going through or have gone through in the past, look for an explanation or the 'point' of it all before we can feel we can let go and move on. We might often think, 'What's the point?' or, 'Why has this happened?'. We may go to therapy or counselling and pay someone a lot of money for them to help us find the explanation, or we may join a religious organisation or get into the new age scene to help put our experience into a nice framework that explains it all to us.
There may be a point in coming up with a point, but it stops us making progress if we insist on finding the point before we let go! What if we just postponed our need to find the point by asking ourselves, 'What if there is no need to find the point, at least for now?'.
The point is, whether there is a point or not is immaterial! We could just let go of our pain causing thoughts at the point of pain, and move on! Do we get the point?
Actually, our human egos put the idea into our heads that we need an explanation, or a point, as a way of keeping us where we are: as a way of putting off letting go and moving on.
I think letting go of the need to know the 'point' might give us more insight into what the point is in the end! Or maybe there is no point!!
www.stressalternatives.co.uk
Wednesday 26 December 2007
House and Mind Training
Happy Christmas and Love For this Next Year to All!
We have a new baby in our home! Our puppy! Yes, he's not just for Christmas but for life, but what a responsibility! It's our job to train him to act in a socially acceptable way, and that doesn't just include 'sit' and 'paw' and 'high five'! These are the easy things to teach him because he gets instant gratification in the form of a treat for doing them, and a great deal of 'aws' and 'ahs' from the humans!
Teaching him new tricks is much easier than trying to get him to unlearn old habits. For example, he insists on peeing everywhere indoors, as was his habit in kennels. As an optimist in training (I've still got loads to learn!), I have tried not to go down the route of fretting every time my carpet gets another dose of puppy excretion, but have seen it as an 'opportunity' to point out puppy's 'errors', and run promptly to the back door with him, calmly saying, 'No, outside!', as opposed to, 'Oh, bother! That's another stinking stain on my lovely floor. We'll never get the smell of pee out the carpet. Will he ever learn, the stupid mut! We'll be up to our ears in p--- and s--- soon!' Etc etc. (You get the picture?)
I must admit, it is SO tempting to go along the route of the latter way of thinking! Our problem, I think, was partly to do with him sneaking off and peeing in a different room to us, so we had no way of instantly letting him know it was wrong, so now, as much as possible, he is not allowed to roam the house, 'marking his territory' willy nilly! (Excuse the bad joke!) Someone must be in charge of him now, and be ready to stop him in mid-pee and take him outside.
And so it is with our own habits of thinking. If we become aware through our warning signals of emotional pain or undesirable behaviour, or even through how others treat us, we can stop ourselves as soon as we become aware, as I do (most of the time) when I start shrieking at the dog! I can then seize the opportunity pup has given me to teach me and him something! Two for the price of one ! A 'win-win' situation!
I still don't know how I am going to get the smell out of my carpets though!
Love Liz
http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/
We have a new baby in our home! Our puppy! Yes, he's not just for Christmas but for life, but what a responsibility! It's our job to train him to act in a socially acceptable way, and that doesn't just include 'sit' and 'paw' and 'high five'! These are the easy things to teach him because he gets instant gratification in the form of a treat for doing them, and a great deal of 'aws' and 'ahs' from the humans!
Teaching him new tricks is much easier than trying to get him to unlearn old habits. For example, he insists on peeing everywhere indoors, as was his habit in kennels. As an optimist in training (I've still got loads to learn!), I have tried not to go down the route of fretting every time my carpet gets another dose of puppy excretion, but have seen it as an 'opportunity' to point out puppy's 'errors', and run promptly to the back door with him, calmly saying, 'No, outside!', as opposed to, 'Oh, bother! That's another stinking stain on my lovely floor. We'll never get the smell of pee out the carpet. Will he ever learn, the stupid mut! We'll be up to our ears in p--- and s--- soon!' Etc etc. (You get the picture?)
I must admit, it is SO tempting to go along the route of the latter way of thinking! Our problem, I think, was partly to do with him sneaking off and peeing in a different room to us, so we had no way of instantly letting him know it was wrong, so now, as much as possible, he is not allowed to roam the house, 'marking his territory' willy nilly! (Excuse the bad joke!) Someone must be in charge of him now, and be ready to stop him in mid-pee and take him outside.
And so it is with our own habits of thinking. If we become aware through our warning signals of emotional pain or undesirable behaviour, or even through how others treat us, we can stop ourselves as soon as we become aware, as I do (most of the time) when I start shrieking at the dog! I can then seize the opportunity pup has given me to teach me and him something! Two for the price of one ! A 'win-win' situation!
I still don't know how I am going to get the smell out of my carpets though!
Love Liz
http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
