Hey
Doing a lot of letting go of old fearful beliefs, thoughts and feelings just now.
For some, and myself included, I logically know that fear just gets in the way of seeing things clearly and objectively, but still there's a large part of me resists letting go and getting to a calm place, particularly when it comes to thinking about specific topics. Money, for instance! Myself, for another instance!
And when I think logically about it, it all makes so much sense, but something deep down gives it, 'whoaahh horsey'! Shove on the brakes. Don't calm down. Keep that tension!
Is it all down to habits? Did I cheerfully take on my parents' beliefs about money for instance, and kept a hold of them cos I wanted to be like them, or I didn't trust myself that I'd not live in poverty with nothing to my name if I didn't 'care' about money?
And there's a lot of self-help advice around that says we should 'act as if' we had what we want. And same with life in general. Acting 'as if' will expose us to the threat we feel till we are so used to it, we calm down about it.
But, we can't go around spending money we don't have, for Pete's sake! That's a totally stupid thing to do! (Yes Banks!) It's also pretty stupid to spend every penny we earn and not invest for the future when we can't earn. It's easy to see the whole human race, near enough, shares my fear around money. Some never spend and some spend too much but both are out of balance!
Now what if we just felt 'as if' we had no money worries first? Then we could decide in our calm state, what course of action to take for the best. Stability would be our starting point, and our finishing point too!
So lets work at feeling OK about our 'demons', so 'feeling as if' before 'acting as if'. That means getting right down to the roots in our subconscious, at the beliefs.
It's easier than you think with new energy therapies.
For example, check ou my new ZPoint self help guide from the website.
www.stressalternatives.co.uk
Giddy up Horsey:)
Monday 5 April 2010
Sunday 28 March 2010
In Favour of Calmness and Inner Peace
The other day I helped with a first aid situation. A friend lost her footing and fell backwards down a stone staircase, hitting her head. With my nurses head on, I and several others went into rescue mode. As we sat her up, it was obvious she had cut the back of her head and blood was pouring all over very dramatically.
The outcome for her was fine, though for her clothes maybe not so good.
What was interesting was the reaction of other people in the group. My poor little daughter, who hadn't witnessed anything so horrific before, went white. She had gone into shock. Others probably did too.
Others were calm enough to assist with chairs, paper towels, wipes, etc on our orders. My mother (bless her) went into 'disaster' mode and decided she would need at least an X ray, if not emergency brain surgery!
I was grateful a 'proper' nurse was there, who calmed us all by knowing exactly what to do, and that it wasn't a serious injury.
Meanwhile, the victim of the fall was more concerned that we didn't get blood on our clothes than about herself.
It makes me think of a fear 'continuum' or 'slope'. At an extreme top end, my daughter was so shocked, she 'shut off', and people who faint at the sight of blood shut off even more. Further down that slope, there was my mum, panicking and throwing her fear around by voicing the worst in front of the patient. Then further down were a few others who did their bit to help, including myself. Then the calmest was the nurse who took control, knew exactly what to do, worked on the injury and kept us all calm.
With any situation, a similar fear 'slope' is felt within us. At the top end, we shut off, not feeling the feelinngs and we can't think straight. Further down, we might feel the fear more, but we see disaster round the corner, and throw that fear around. As we get calmer, we can think most objectively and function at our best.
Some may misunderstand and think that total calmness would cause us to do nothing, and 'not care', but I'd put that in the 'shut off' area.
I don't believe that we need a little bit of tension to function, as is often suggested by psychologists. When we're calm, we think straight. We can still have drive, enthusiasm, joy, and energy and be calm. In fact, it is essential for true optimum functioning. Tension gets in the way of enjoying all of the good things.
So, what if we are someone who faints at the sight of blood, or is phobic of heights, loses our temper before we can stop ourself, or gets panicky as soon as the spotlight hits us, or gets unexplained pain, emotional or physical? They all point to that underlying tension in what most people call our subconscious mind. There are 'programmes' or belief systems running underneath that feed the tension, or what energy therapists call vibrational frequencies.
Our behaviour, thoughts, feelings and body reactions are clues to us about our underlying programmes. They are like the mushrooms that show up above ground that indicate the main fungus underneath the soil. They are our pain, but also are our potential start of a way out of the pain. There is a saying by Werner Erhard: 'The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off'. Pain is our messenger, not our enemy. Now, isn't that a good way to look at it? We can never any more be a victim to it. We can 'let go' or calm ourselves when we feel it.
Going back to beginning to tackle the fear, we can do so much by intention to let go every time we feel it, and using a technique or practice to calm on a regular basis for the background 'fungus'.
Loads of quick calming techniques to try for free on my website. www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
All the Best
Liz
The outcome for her was fine, though for her clothes maybe not so good.
What was interesting was the reaction of other people in the group. My poor little daughter, who hadn't witnessed anything so horrific before, went white. She had gone into shock. Others probably did too.
Others were calm enough to assist with chairs, paper towels, wipes, etc on our orders. My mother (bless her) went into 'disaster' mode and decided she would need at least an X ray, if not emergency brain surgery!
I was grateful a 'proper' nurse was there, who calmed us all by knowing exactly what to do, and that it wasn't a serious injury.
Meanwhile, the victim of the fall was more concerned that we didn't get blood on our clothes than about herself.
It makes me think of a fear 'continuum' or 'slope'. At an extreme top end, my daughter was so shocked, she 'shut off', and people who faint at the sight of blood shut off even more. Further down that slope, there was my mum, panicking and throwing her fear around by voicing the worst in front of the patient. Then further down were a few others who did their bit to help, including myself. Then the calmest was the nurse who took control, knew exactly what to do, worked on the injury and kept us all calm.
With any situation, a similar fear 'slope' is felt within us. At the top end, we shut off, not feeling the feelinngs and we can't think straight. Further down, we might feel the fear more, but we see disaster round the corner, and throw that fear around. As we get calmer, we can think most objectively and function at our best.
Some may misunderstand and think that total calmness would cause us to do nothing, and 'not care', but I'd put that in the 'shut off' area.
I don't believe that we need a little bit of tension to function, as is often suggested by psychologists. When we're calm, we think straight. We can still have drive, enthusiasm, joy, and energy and be calm. In fact, it is essential for true optimum functioning. Tension gets in the way of enjoying all of the good things.
So, what if we are someone who faints at the sight of blood, or is phobic of heights, loses our temper before we can stop ourself, or gets panicky as soon as the spotlight hits us, or gets unexplained pain, emotional or physical? They all point to that underlying tension in what most people call our subconscious mind. There are 'programmes' or belief systems running underneath that feed the tension, or what energy therapists call vibrational frequencies.
Our behaviour, thoughts, feelings and body reactions are clues to us about our underlying programmes. They are like the mushrooms that show up above ground that indicate the main fungus underneath the soil. They are our pain, but also are our potential start of a way out of the pain. There is a saying by Werner Erhard: 'The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off'. Pain is our messenger, not our enemy. Now, isn't that a good way to look at it? We can never any more be a victim to it. We can 'let go' or calm ourselves when we feel it.
Going back to beginning to tackle the fear, we can do so much by intention to let go every time we feel it, and using a technique or practice to calm on a regular basis for the background 'fungus'.
Loads of quick calming techniques to try for free on my website. www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
All the Best
Liz
Saturday 30 January 2010
Calming our Naughty Child Inside
Hi
Here's a different way to look at our stress.
What if we could see it as the stressed naughty child inside of us that clambers for our attention? Long ago this child was born inside us, often as a result of a difficult event in our little susceptible young minds.
We might have matured as adults, but some part of us is stuck in the past, creating that pattern of thoughts, emotional tension and behaviour. That part kind of got stuck and didn't mature alongside us, even though it is still part of us.
We do all sorts of things to avoid or deal with that stress our child inside displays to us. See my blog, How to increase your emotional pain and keep it alive. We give it plenty of negative attention in the form of ignoring it, fighting it, suppressing it etc., and, like the naughty child, it ends up ruling us, and stopping us really living life to the full.
Often it's a crisis such as illness, addiction, relationship conflict or depression that can make us stop and examine the stressed child. Sometimes, even these crises have to be experienced over and over, and medical treatment failing or a new relationship create the same old problems.
Actually, the stressed child is not the 'devil incarnate' tho we sometimes call them our 'inner demons'. That younger part of us made certain conclusions and decisions during that difficult time in our lives that helped us make sense of and cope with what was going on at the time. Things like 'I'm not as good as others' in response to a failure, or 'I'll never get over ....' or 'I'll have to make up for being bad' keep the child stuck in the past and keep the program running in our subconscious mind, and all we know is that we feel panic when we get critisised or anger when we are ignored or guilty when we have to say no.
In traditional therapy, we would try and identify when the stressed child was born and try to understand it. This is fine, but takes a long time and isn't easy to do on one's own, but, like when you talk to the stressed child, it stops stressing.
In energy therapies, we just aim to calm that stressed child as quick as possible. When a child keeps tugging at you looking for attention, any good attention will calm them and bring out the best in them. Bad attention will just keep it stressed.
Next time that immature part of us causes stressed feelings, instead of thinking, 'This should not be happening!', we could try imagining us and it working together arm in arm to help us. I suspect that as a result of that alone without any fancy therapy it would start to grow up quite quickly and stop stressing itself and us!
For all the quick calming measures though, see my website: www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
Happy 2010 from Liz!
Here's a different way to look at our stress.
What if we could see it as the stressed naughty child inside of us that clambers for our attention? Long ago this child was born inside us, often as a result of a difficult event in our little susceptible young minds.
We might have matured as adults, but some part of us is stuck in the past, creating that pattern of thoughts, emotional tension and behaviour. That part kind of got stuck and didn't mature alongside us, even though it is still part of us.
We do all sorts of things to avoid or deal with that stress our child inside displays to us. See my blog, How to increase your emotional pain and keep it alive. We give it plenty of negative attention in the form of ignoring it, fighting it, suppressing it etc., and, like the naughty child, it ends up ruling us, and stopping us really living life to the full.
Often it's a crisis such as illness, addiction, relationship conflict or depression that can make us stop and examine the stressed child. Sometimes, even these crises have to be experienced over and over, and medical treatment failing or a new relationship create the same old problems.
Actually, the stressed child is not the 'devil incarnate' tho we sometimes call them our 'inner demons'. That younger part of us made certain conclusions and decisions during that difficult time in our lives that helped us make sense of and cope with what was going on at the time. Things like 'I'm not as good as others' in response to a failure, or 'I'll never get over ....' or 'I'll have to make up for being bad' keep the child stuck in the past and keep the program running in our subconscious mind, and all we know is that we feel panic when we get critisised or anger when we are ignored or guilty when we have to say no.
In traditional therapy, we would try and identify when the stressed child was born and try to understand it. This is fine, but takes a long time and isn't easy to do on one's own, but, like when you talk to the stressed child, it stops stressing.
In energy therapies, we just aim to calm that stressed child as quick as possible. When a child keeps tugging at you looking for attention, any good attention will calm them and bring out the best in them. Bad attention will just keep it stressed.
Next time that immature part of us causes stressed feelings, instead of thinking, 'This should not be happening!', we could try imagining us and it working together arm in arm to help us. I suspect that as a result of that alone without any fancy therapy it would start to grow up quite quickly and stop stressing itself and us!
For all the quick calming measures though, see my website: www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
Happy 2010 from Liz!
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