Hey
Long time no write!
I blame facebook:) and life being amazing and becoming more amazing every day. You wouldn't think it from the outside, but there's a lot of stuff happening internally, and...any day now...!
I discovered 'meta-medicine', which helped me get into the ball park of the emotional cause for an irritating physical condition and I cured it with a simple process.
Fab! No drugs, remedies (although, believe me, I'd tried them all!) and it all took a few minutes. OMG!
It's amazing what you can achieve when you have an open mind! And good intention.
And you know, all I did was 'allow' as opposed to 'try'! But that takes getting yourself out of the way.
Anyway thanks to meta-medicine, and a visit to a past event and letting go of the emotion that was trapped at that point, I can go the whole night without goin to the loo...Ah joy!
www.metamedicine.com
Love Liz
Showing posts with label self help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self help. Show all posts
Friday, 4 February 2011
Monday, 5 April 2010
'As If'
Hey
Doing a lot of letting go of old fearful beliefs, thoughts and feelings just now.
For some, and myself included, I logically know that fear just gets in the way of seeing things clearly and objectively, but still there's a large part of me resists letting go and getting to a calm place, particularly when it comes to thinking about specific topics. Money, for instance! Myself, for another instance!
And when I think logically about it, it all makes so much sense, but something deep down gives it, 'whoaahh horsey'! Shove on the brakes. Don't calm down. Keep that tension!
Is it all down to habits? Did I cheerfully take on my parents' beliefs about money for instance, and kept a hold of them cos I wanted to be like them, or I didn't trust myself that I'd not live in poverty with nothing to my name if I didn't 'care' about money?
And there's a lot of self-help advice around that says we should 'act as if' we had what we want. And same with life in general. Acting 'as if' will expose us to the threat we feel till we are so used to it, we calm down about it.
But, we can't go around spending money we don't have, for Pete's sake! That's a totally stupid thing to do! (Yes Banks!) It's also pretty stupid to spend every penny we earn and not invest for the future when we can't earn. It's easy to see the whole human race, near enough, shares my fear around money. Some never spend and some spend too much but both are out of balance!
Now what if we just felt 'as if' we had no money worries first? Then we could decide in our calm state, what course of action to take for the best. Stability would be our starting point, and our finishing point too!
So lets work at feeling OK about our 'demons', so 'feeling as if' before 'acting as if'. That means getting right down to the roots in our subconscious, at the beliefs.
It's easier than you think with new energy therapies.
For example, check ou my new ZPoint self help guide from the website.
www.stressalternatives.co.uk
Giddy up Horsey:)
Doing a lot of letting go of old fearful beliefs, thoughts and feelings just now.
For some, and myself included, I logically know that fear just gets in the way of seeing things clearly and objectively, but still there's a large part of me resists letting go and getting to a calm place, particularly when it comes to thinking about specific topics. Money, for instance! Myself, for another instance!
And when I think logically about it, it all makes so much sense, but something deep down gives it, 'whoaahh horsey'! Shove on the brakes. Don't calm down. Keep that tension!
Is it all down to habits? Did I cheerfully take on my parents' beliefs about money for instance, and kept a hold of them cos I wanted to be like them, or I didn't trust myself that I'd not live in poverty with nothing to my name if I didn't 'care' about money?
And there's a lot of self-help advice around that says we should 'act as if' we had what we want. And same with life in general. Acting 'as if' will expose us to the threat we feel till we are so used to it, we calm down about it.
But, we can't go around spending money we don't have, for Pete's sake! That's a totally stupid thing to do! (Yes Banks!) It's also pretty stupid to spend every penny we earn and not invest for the future when we can't earn. It's easy to see the whole human race, near enough, shares my fear around money. Some never spend and some spend too much but both are out of balance!
Now what if we just felt 'as if' we had no money worries first? Then we could decide in our calm state, what course of action to take for the best. Stability would be our starting point, and our finishing point too!
So lets work at feeling OK about our 'demons', so 'feeling as if' before 'acting as if'. That means getting right down to the roots in our subconscious, at the beliefs.
It's easier than you think with new energy therapies.
For example, check ou my new ZPoint self help guide from the website.
www.stressalternatives.co.uk
Giddy up Horsey:)
Sunday, 28 March 2010
In Favour of Calmness and Inner Peace
The other day I helped with a first aid situation. A friend lost her footing and fell backwards down a stone staircase, hitting her head. With my nurses head on, I and several others went into rescue mode. As we sat her up, it was obvious she had cut the back of her head and blood was pouring all over very dramatically.
The outcome for her was fine, though for her clothes maybe not so good.
What was interesting was the reaction of other people in the group. My poor little daughter, who hadn't witnessed anything so horrific before, went white. She had gone into shock. Others probably did too.
Others were calm enough to assist with chairs, paper towels, wipes, etc on our orders. My mother (bless her) went into 'disaster' mode and decided she would need at least an X ray, if not emergency brain surgery!
I was grateful a 'proper' nurse was there, who calmed us all by knowing exactly what to do, and that it wasn't a serious injury.
Meanwhile, the victim of the fall was more concerned that we didn't get blood on our clothes than about herself.
It makes me think of a fear 'continuum' or 'slope'. At an extreme top end, my daughter was so shocked, she 'shut off', and people who faint at the sight of blood shut off even more. Further down that slope, there was my mum, panicking and throwing her fear around by voicing the worst in front of the patient. Then further down were a few others who did their bit to help, including myself. Then the calmest was the nurse who took control, knew exactly what to do, worked on the injury and kept us all calm.
With any situation, a similar fear 'slope' is felt within us. At the top end, we shut off, not feeling the feelinngs and we can't think straight. Further down, we might feel the fear more, but we see disaster round the corner, and throw that fear around. As we get calmer, we can think most objectively and function at our best.
Some may misunderstand and think that total calmness would cause us to do nothing, and 'not care', but I'd put that in the 'shut off' area.
I don't believe that we need a little bit of tension to function, as is often suggested by psychologists. When we're calm, we think straight. We can still have drive, enthusiasm, joy, and energy and be calm. In fact, it is essential for true optimum functioning. Tension gets in the way of enjoying all of the good things.
So, what if we are someone who faints at the sight of blood, or is phobic of heights, loses our temper before we can stop ourself, or gets panicky as soon as the spotlight hits us, or gets unexplained pain, emotional or physical? They all point to that underlying tension in what most people call our subconscious mind. There are 'programmes' or belief systems running underneath that feed the tension, or what energy therapists call vibrational frequencies.
Our behaviour, thoughts, feelings and body reactions are clues to us about our underlying programmes. They are like the mushrooms that show up above ground that indicate the main fungus underneath the soil. They are our pain, but also are our potential start of a way out of the pain. There is a saying by Werner Erhard: 'The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off'. Pain is our messenger, not our enemy. Now, isn't that a good way to look at it? We can never any more be a victim to it. We can 'let go' or calm ourselves when we feel it.
Going back to beginning to tackle the fear, we can do so much by intention to let go every time we feel it, and using a technique or practice to calm on a regular basis for the background 'fungus'.
Loads of quick calming techniques to try for free on my website. www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
All the Best
Liz
The outcome for her was fine, though for her clothes maybe not so good.
What was interesting was the reaction of other people in the group. My poor little daughter, who hadn't witnessed anything so horrific before, went white. She had gone into shock. Others probably did too.
Others were calm enough to assist with chairs, paper towels, wipes, etc on our orders. My mother (bless her) went into 'disaster' mode and decided she would need at least an X ray, if not emergency brain surgery!
I was grateful a 'proper' nurse was there, who calmed us all by knowing exactly what to do, and that it wasn't a serious injury.
Meanwhile, the victim of the fall was more concerned that we didn't get blood on our clothes than about herself.
It makes me think of a fear 'continuum' or 'slope'. At an extreme top end, my daughter was so shocked, she 'shut off', and people who faint at the sight of blood shut off even more. Further down that slope, there was my mum, panicking and throwing her fear around by voicing the worst in front of the patient. Then further down were a few others who did their bit to help, including myself. Then the calmest was the nurse who took control, knew exactly what to do, worked on the injury and kept us all calm.
With any situation, a similar fear 'slope' is felt within us. At the top end, we shut off, not feeling the feelinngs and we can't think straight. Further down, we might feel the fear more, but we see disaster round the corner, and throw that fear around. As we get calmer, we can think most objectively and function at our best.
Some may misunderstand and think that total calmness would cause us to do nothing, and 'not care', but I'd put that in the 'shut off' area.
I don't believe that we need a little bit of tension to function, as is often suggested by psychologists. When we're calm, we think straight. We can still have drive, enthusiasm, joy, and energy and be calm. In fact, it is essential for true optimum functioning. Tension gets in the way of enjoying all of the good things.
So, what if we are someone who faints at the sight of blood, or is phobic of heights, loses our temper before we can stop ourself, or gets panicky as soon as the spotlight hits us, or gets unexplained pain, emotional or physical? They all point to that underlying tension in what most people call our subconscious mind. There are 'programmes' or belief systems running underneath that feed the tension, or what energy therapists call vibrational frequencies.
Our behaviour, thoughts, feelings and body reactions are clues to us about our underlying programmes. They are like the mushrooms that show up above ground that indicate the main fungus underneath the soil. They are our pain, but also are our potential start of a way out of the pain. There is a saying by Werner Erhard: 'The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off'. Pain is our messenger, not our enemy. Now, isn't that a good way to look at it? We can never any more be a victim to it. We can 'let go' or calm ourselves when we feel it.
Going back to beginning to tackle the fear, we can do so much by intention to let go every time we feel it, and using a technique or practice to calm on a regular basis for the background 'fungus'.
Loads of quick calming techniques to try for free on my website. www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
All the Best
Liz
Saturday, 30 January 2010
Calming our Naughty Child Inside
Hi
Here's a different way to look at our stress.
What if we could see it as the stressed naughty child inside of us that clambers for our attention? Long ago this child was born inside us, often as a result of a difficult event in our little susceptible young minds.
We might have matured as adults, but some part of us is stuck in the past, creating that pattern of thoughts, emotional tension and behaviour. That part kind of got stuck and didn't mature alongside us, even though it is still part of us.
We do all sorts of things to avoid or deal with that stress our child inside displays to us. See my blog, How to increase your emotional pain and keep it alive. We give it plenty of negative attention in the form of ignoring it, fighting it, suppressing it etc., and, like the naughty child, it ends up ruling us, and stopping us really living life to the full.
Often it's a crisis such as illness, addiction, relationship conflict or depression that can make us stop and examine the stressed child. Sometimes, even these crises have to be experienced over and over, and medical treatment failing or a new relationship create the same old problems.
Actually, the stressed child is not the 'devil incarnate' tho we sometimes call them our 'inner demons'. That younger part of us made certain conclusions and decisions during that difficult time in our lives that helped us make sense of and cope with what was going on at the time. Things like 'I'm not as good as others' in response to a failure, or 'I'll never get over ....' or 'I'll have to make up for being bad' keep the child stuck in the past and keep the program running in our subconscious mind, and all we know is that we feel panic when we get critisised or anger when we are ignored or guilty when we have to say no.
In traditional therapy, we would try and identify when the stressed child was born and try to understand it. This is fine, but takes a long time and isn't easy to do on one's own, but, like when you talk to the stressed child, it stops stressing.
In energy therapies, we just aim to calm that stressed child as quick as possible. When a child keeps tugging at you looking for attention, any good attention will calm them and bring out the best in them. Bad attention will just keep it stressed.
Next time that immature part of us causes stressed feelings, instead of thinking, 'This should not be happening!', we could try imagining us and it working together arm in arm to help us. I suspect that as a result of that alone without any fancy therapy it would start to grow up quite quickly and stop stressing itself and us!
For all the quick calming measures though, see my website: www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
Happy 2010 from Liz!
Here's a different way to look at our stress.
What if we could see it as the stressed naughty child inside of us that clambers for our attention? Long ago this child was born inside us, often as a result of a difficult event in our little susceptible young minds.
We might have matured as adults, but some part of us is stuck in the past, creating that pattern of thoughts, emotional tension and behaviour. That part kind of got stuck and didn't mature alongside us, even though it is still part of us.
We do all sorts of things to avoid or deal with that stress our child inside displays to us. See my blog, How to increase your emotional pain and keep it alive. We give it plenty of negative attention in the form of ignoring it, fighting it, suppressing it etc., and, like the naughty child, it ends up ruling us, and stopping us really living life to the full.
Often it's a crisis such as illness, addiction, relationship conflict or depression that can make us stop and examine the stressed child. Sometimes, even these crises have to be experienced over and over, and medical treatment failing or a new relationship create the same old problems.
Actually, the stressed child is not the 'devil incarnate' tho we sometimes call them our 'inner demons'. That younger part of us made certain conclusions and decisions during that difficult time in our lives that helped us make sense of and cope with what was going on at the time. Things like 'I'm not as good as others' in response to a failure, or 'I'll never get over ....' or 'I'll have to make up for being bad' keep the child stuck in the past and keep the program running in our subconscious mind, and all we know is that we feel panic when we get critisised or anger when we are ignored or guilty when we have to say no.
In traditional therapy, we would try and identify when the stressed child was born and try to understand it. This is fine, but takes a long time and isn't easy to do on one's own, but, like when you talk to the stressed child, it stops stressing.
In energy therapies, we just aim to calm that stressed child as quick as possible. When a child keeps tugging at you looking for attention, any good attention will calm them and bring out the best in them. Bad attention will just keep it stressed.
Next time that immature part of us causes stressed feelings, instead of thinking, 'This should not be happening!', we could try imagining us and it working together arm in arm to help us. I suspect that as a result of that alone without any fancy therapy it would start to grow up quite quickly and stop stressing itself and us!
For all the quick calming measures though, see my website: www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
Happy 2010 from Liz!
Saturday, 17 October 2009
Gratitude and Giving
Hey
You know when you were young, your parents, teachers and grown ups would tell you what was right and wrong?
If you were lucky, they'd tell you it's good to give, it's good to say thank you and please, and to be kind to one another.
It's just as well we knew what was 'right' in our house, because with 3 girls (I was the oldest and the bully!), we were often fighting, being selfish and being downright cruel to each other. Our 'dark' side would regularly rear its merry head causing 'hell' in our otherwise happy home.
I didn't know how lucky I was to have this kind of guidance as I was growing up. Sometimes it felt like I was always bad, that guilt was my best friend...well, actually it was! It was not only my most frequent 'bad' feeling but it stopped me from being too selfish and uncaring.
Giving to others didn't come naturally to me, so when I gave, it exercised my 'giving' muscles bit by bit (though I still have a long way to go! having 3 kids has helped this too!) i.e. I get to open my heart which has a tendency to keep shutters up a lot. (Well I do come from the heart disease capital of the world!).
If we read any of the big religions or the 'new age' literature, giving, thanking or praising is big. In fact, its meant to be a frequent, daily practice.
We all need our heart muscles metaphorically exercised as well as physically. In fact, doesn't exercise cure depression? I know why. being grateful and giving also cures it if we make it a regular habit. It helps us focus on the positive, and the more we do it, the stronger it gets.
Of course, its hard to begin with and it can feel like we're a 'tall poppy' among the 'Victor Meldrews', but watch out for the good things just getting bigger and bigger!
Then, after a time we get to be grateful for the seemingly bad things that happen too (some cynics may call this delusion!), but its all life! We have a choice (Adam and Eve?) to choose gratitude and giving, or anger and victim mentality.
I'm still doing the latter far too much, but I keep exercising!
Thanks Mum!
Have a look at my gratitude script in my free ebook. Chapter 4.
www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
You know when you were young, your parents, teachers and grown ups would tell you what was right and wrong?
If you were lucky, they'd tell you it's good to give, it's good to say thank you and please, and to be kind to one another.
It's just as well we knew what was 'right' in our house, because with 3 girls (I was the oldest and the bully!), we were often fighting, being selfish and being downright cruel to each other. Our 'dark' side would regularly rear its merry head causing 'hell' in our otherwise happy home.
I didn't know how lucky I was to have this kind of guidance as I was growing up. Sometimes it felt like I was always bad, that guilt was my best friend...well, actually it was! It was not only my most frequent 'bad' feeling but it stopped me from being too selfish and uncaring.
Giving to others didn't come naturally to me, so when I gave, it exercised my 'giving' muscles bit by bit (though I still have a long way to go! having 3 kids has helped this too!) i.e. I get to open my heart which has a tendency to keep shutters up a lot. (Well I do come from the heart disease capital of the world!).
If we read any of the big religions or the 'new age' literature, giving, thanking or praising is big. In fact, its meant to be a frequent, daily practice.
We all need our heart muscles metaphorically exercised as well as physically. In fact, doesn't exercise cure depression? I know why. being grateful and giving also cures it if we make it a regular habit. It helps us focus on the positive, and the more we do it, the stronger it gets.
Of course, its hard to begin with and it can feel like we're a 'tall poppy' among the 'Victor Meldrews', but watch out for the good things just getting bigger and bigger!
Then, after a time we get to be grateful for the seemingly bad things that happen too (some cynics may call this delusion!), but its all life! We have a choice (Adam and Eve?) to choose gratitude and giving, or anger and victim mentality.
I'm still doing the latter far too much, but I keep exercising!
Thanks Mum!
Have a look at my gratitude script in my free ebook. Chapter 4.
www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
Mind Grooves
Hi
Sorry to go on about my dog again, but Taz has been giving us problems again! Or should I say 'challenges'? Or should I say, "He's been a little.....!" So much so that we were given the services of a brilliant dog behaviourist,Paul (www.K9ClickerTraining.co.uk) from our dog rescue centre. He reckons Taz does naughty stuff, not because of anxiety and the need to relieve tension, but because he's got a 'devilish' streak, and acts like that because he can! In other words, we have allowed the behaviour to develop.
Of course, to stop the behaviour now is going to cause initial tension because the habit has already been formed. So us humans have been given a set of instructions on how to allow him to feel the discomfort and calm him when we 'orchestrate' the trigger. (I love that expression 'orchestrate'!) After a few repetitions of calming, the bad behaviour stops and our doggy becomes a little angel!
Bad habits become ingrained just as easily in humans if they are repeated. We can calm ourselves when we realise we are going down the habitual route, unlike dogs who don't have an awareness of the trigger to behaviour route.
The trigger to behaviour route becomes a familiar groove in our mind the more often it is repeated.It also includes thoughts and feelings. In fact, the grooves we make in our minds feel like bobsleigh routes for some. Some patterns of behaviour we have been repeating over and over all our lives. For example, someone irritates us, and, before we know it, we're moaning, critisising or having a go at them. Someone moans at us, and, before we know it, we react by getting defensive and self-righteous. For someone who has built up self-consciousness about their appearance, the trigger can be as simple as passing a mirror, and the bobsleigh route of thoughts, feelings, panic symptoms and behaviour follow in micro-seconds.
Habitual thoughts are a result of those bobsleigh routes too. Some folk can hook on to suicidal ones. Some will think,'What's the point?' Some will think, 'I don't have enough.' Some will think, 'I am sick.'
Those thoughts are connected to painful feelings. It's all so sad!
Or what if we could make use of those painful feelings to remind us we're on the bobsleigh route?
So how do we stop ourselves going down the routes? After all, the routes are deep grooves!
If we can calm a dog, maybe we could calm ourselves! Maybe we could 'orchestrate' the trigger to behaviour/ thoughts/ feelings route a few times and deliberately calm ourselves in some way to replace that tension that the trigger activated? What if we deliberately thought about our lack of money, or our fearful or suicidal thoughts and intend to calm our resulting tension at that point?
There's loads of ways to change that tension to relaxation, from deliberate distraction to gratitude to energy therapies. Energy therapies make it so much quicker and less repetition and 'orchestration' will be necessary.
Look on my website: www.stressalternatives.co.uk. Look especially at my 'Intentional detachment practice' article.
Time for 'walkies'!
Sorry to go on about my dog again, but Taz has been giving us problems again! Or should I say 'challenges'? Or should I say, "He's been a little.....!" So much so that we were given the services of a brilliant dog behaviourist,Paul (www.K9ClickerTraining.co.uk) from our dog rescue centre. He reckons Taz does naughty stuff, not because of anxiety and the need to relieve tension, but because he's got a 'devilish' streak, and acts like that because he can! In other words, we have allowed the behaviour to develop.
Of course, to stop the behaviour now is going to cause initial tension because the habit has already been formed. So us humans have been given a set of instructions on how to allow him to feel the discomfort and calm him when we 'orchestrate' the trigger. (I love that expression 'orchestrate'!) After a few repetitions of calming, the bad behaviour stops and our doggy becomes a little angel!
Bad habits become ingrained just as easily in humans if they are repeated. We can calm ourselves when we realise we are going down the habitual route, unlike dogs who don't have an awareness of the trigger to behaviour route.
The trigger to behaviour route becomes a familiar groove in our mind the more often it is repeated.It also includes thoughts and feelings. In fact, the grooves we make in our minds feel like bobsleigh routes for some. Some patterns of behaviour we have been repeating over and over all our lives. For example, someone irritates us, and, before we know it, we're moaning, critisising or having a go at them. Someone moans at us, and, before we know it, we react by getting defensive and self-righteous. For someone who has built up self-consciousness about their appearance, the trigger can be as simple as passing a mirror, and the bobsleigh route of thoughts, feelings, panic symptoms and behaviour follow in micro-seconds.
Habitual thoughts are a result of those bobsleigh routes too. Some folk can hook on to suicidal ones. Some will think,'What's the point?' Some will think, 'I don't have enough.' Some will think, 'I am sick.'
Those thoughts are connected to painful feelings. It's all so sad!
Or what if we could make use of those painful feelings to remind us we're on the bobsleigh route?
So how do we stop ourselves going down the routes? After all, the routes are deep grooves!
If we can calm a dog, maybe we could calm ourselves! Maybe we could 'orchestrate' the trigger to behaviour/ thoughts/ feelings route a few times and deliberately calm ourselves in some way to replace that tension that the trigger activated? What if we deliberately thought about our lack of money, or our fearful or suicidal thoughts and intend to calm our resulting tension at that point?
There's loads of ways to change that tension to relaxation, from deliberate distraction to gratitude to energy therapies. Energy therapies make it so much quicker and less repetition and 'orchestration' will be necessary.
Look on my website: www.stressalternatives.co.uk. Look especially at my 'Intentional detachment practice' article.
Time for 'walkies'!
Sunday, 12 July 2009
Positive and Negative
Hey
I used to be such a negative person, and now I'm a little less so (maybe!). I used to marvel at these people who could always see the bright side of life, and always knew what they wanted and went all out to get it.
Having just been in Florida, I've seen what this attitude can really achieve, and why the American Dream at it's best is so amazing.
Us Brits on the whole have inherited much more of a moderate, cautious nature, and this recession is pushing all our buttons.
Once I realised how damaging being negative was in my life, it was tempting for me to beat myself up every time I noticed negative thoughts and stubbornly stay positive about everything.
'What's wrong with that?', I hear you say. 'Positive is best, isn't it?' Following your dream is best, isn't it? Look what Disney achieved! Think what mankind could achieve if we are all positive!
Trouble is when positivity becomes blind to potential pitfalls. When there is so much drive to achieve the dream that we get stupid at best, and uncaring and damage others at worst. When we borrow too much money and trust that we will be able to pay it back, and the banks give it to us, so it must be OK. When we convince ourselves it's fine to carry on eating junk and drinking to excess, or not planning for kids coming along, or old age, or sickness. Anyway, the government will provide, or Dad. Anyway, I'll live forever!
So, maybe it's not about changing negative to positive blindly. Isn't that what we do anyway? On one hand, keep everything under control, then have slurges and throw caution to the wind. All or nothing!
So, how do we keep balanced? How can we get what we want, or achieve our dreams without getting too blind to the pitfalls or despondant about getting there? The current new age wisdom says keep the goal in mind, but don't fret about it. If we want it too badly, we'll create such a tension that it will be such hard work, few will get there, unless we've got real stubborn drive and a lot of energy, and a strong constitution!
Some interpret the Law of Attraction to mean that all we need to do is keep the goal in mind and magically it will happen for us. Being negative after setting a goal will doom most to failure, but, equally, being blindly positive will not flag up potential problems that need to be overcome, and the dream then becomes an unachievable fantasy.
With all sorts of 'all or nothing' behaviour and thinking, there is no balance because there is tension. The more tension, the more extreme the 'all and nothing' is.
When we find ourselves doing all or nothing, we know we have tension. So let it go! Don't fret about the outcome! Be grateful for what we've got and build on that! Just relax on the spot. Do it with ZPoint, meditation, sports, diversion, EFT, slowing down our breathing, or sending thanks and love to the perpetrator, including ourselves. When we do this, we don't bury our head in the sand. We make some space in our mind for the problems to find solutions, rather than fuel the anxt.
Och, I've rambled on enough! Have a nice day:)
Check out my website www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
I used to be such a negative person, and now I'm a little less so (maybe!). I used to marvel at these people who could always see the bright side of life, and always knew what they wanted and went all out to get it.
Having just been in Florida, I've seen what this attitude can really achieve, and why the American Dream at it's best is so amazing.
Us Brits on the whole have inherited much more of a moderate, cautious nature, and this recession is pushing all our buttons.
Once I realised how damaging being negative was in my life, it was tempting for me to beat myself up every time I noticed negative thoughts and stubbornly stay positive about everything.
'What's wrong with that?', I hear you say. 'Positive is best, isn't it?' Following your dream is best, isn't it? Look what Disney achieved! Think what mankind could achieve if we are all positive!
Trouble is when positivity becomes blind to potential pitfalls. When there is so much drive to achieve the dream that we get stupid at best, and uncaring and damage others at worst. When we borrow too much money and trust that we will be able to pay it back, and the banks give it to us, so it must be OK. When we convince ourselves it's fine to carry on eating junk and drinking to excess, or not planning for kids coming along, or old age, or sickness. Anyway, the government will provide, or Dad. Anyway, I'll live forever!
So, maybe it's not about changing negative to positive blindly. Isn't that what we do anyway? On one hand, keep everything under control, then have slurges and throw caution to the wind. All or nothing!
So, how do we keep balanced? How can we get what we want, or achieve our dreams without getting too blind to the pitfalls or despondant about getting there? The current new age wisdom says keep the goal in mind, but don't fret about it. If we want it too badly, we'll create such a tension that it will be such hard work, few will get there, unless we've got real stubborn drive and a lot of energy, and a strong constitution!
Some interpret the Law of Attraction to mean that all we need to do is keep the goal in mind and magically it will happen for us. Being negative after setting a goal will doom most to failure, but, equally, being blindly positive will not flag up potential problems that need to be overcome, and the dream then becomes an unachievable fantasy.
With all sorts of 'all or nothing' behaviour and thinking, there is no balance because there is tension. The more tension, the more extreme the 'all and nothing' is.
When we find ourselves doing all or nothing, we know we have tension. So let it go! Don't fret about the outcome! Be grateful for what we've got and build on that! Just relax on the spot. Do it with ZPoint, meditation, sports, diversion, EFT, slowing down our breathing, or sending thanks and love to the perpetrator, including ourselves. When we do this, we don't bury our head in the sand. We make some space in our mind for the problems to find solutions, rather than fuel the anxt.
Och, I've rambled on enough! Have a nice day:)
Check out my website www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
Nature doesn't need a story!
Nature is amazing!
I was walking the dog in scrub woodland a few weeks ago, and there were several large patches of ground that had been burned by our local vandals because the previous plants had dried up and died.
A few days later, walking the same route , I was amazed to see the ground was being populated by hundreds of plants. In fact, it looked like the burning of the old had left a perfect clear habitat for the seedlings to grow with vigour.
Here in Scotland, I know this very thing goes on naturally (without the vandals!) in the heather covered hills, and the new takes over the old.
What if we could all do that whenever we got 'burned' by life events?
What if we didn't add our victim story or our anger and justification of it, or our worry about the burning happening again, or our labelling ourselves as less as a result of the burning?
What if we just let all that past story go and any sign of it in the form of the debris of negativity or tension, and just start from this moment in a vigourous growth spurt? We could still take the good seeds along with us, and the expectant rich soil that is fertilised by our wisdom collected up till then, and our hopes and dreams and plans and goals.
Then we could just wait and see what comes our way in our environment!
What if we don't need to add a story?
What if we just pick ourselves up and renew ourselves at every opportunity?
www.stressalternatives.co.uk
All the Best
Liz :>)
I was walking the dog in scrub woodland a few weeks ago, and there were several large patches of ground that had been burned by our local vandals because the previous plants had dried up and died.
A few days later, walking the same route , I was amazed to see the ground was being populated by hundreds of plants. In fact, it looked like the burning of the old had left a perfect clear habitat for the seedlings to grow with vigour.
Here in Scotland, I know this very thing goes on naturally (without the vandals!) in the heather covered hills, and the new takes over the old.
What if we could all do that whenever we got 'burned' by life events?
What if we didn't add our victim story or our anger and justification of it, or our worry about the burning happening again, or our labelling ourselves as less as a result of the burning?
What if we just let all that past story go and any sign of it in the form of the debris of negativity or tension, and just start from this moment in a vigourous growth spurt? We could still take the good seeds along with us, and the expectant rich soil that is fertilised by our wisdom collected up till then, and our hopes and dreams and plans and goals.
Then we could just wait and see what comes our way in our environment!
What if we don't need to add a story?
What if we just pick ourselves up and renew ourselves at every opportunity?
www.stressalternatives.co.uk
All the Best
Liz :>)
Saturday, 18 October 2008
Prevaricating about the Bush!
Hey
It's been some time and I'm still plagued by thinking too much so here's some thoughts:
We don't half beat about the bush and create unnecessary suffering for ourselves!
I had someone come for help the other day (and many others like her in the past) who sincerely wanted to get better, so, after listening to her story, I started to suggest ways to quickly reduce her suffering.
'Yes, but', she said, 'What I really want is to find out why I keep feeling the way I do. I feel I won't get better till I know this.'
Now, psychotherapists and counsellers do this, and sometimes it even helps people to understand why they overeat, or self-harm in other ways, or get bad tempered or whatever. They get 'eureka' moments where it all makes sense why they feel guilty when a news item showing cruelty to animals comes on the telly, or why they become enraged by someone moving their carefully lined up tins of beans out of line. They cook up a theory with their therapist that sounds very plausable and intelligent, and they believe it because their therapist is the expert.
It's all very nice to get an explanation that satisfies our curious nature, and gives us a sense of knowing ourself a bit better, but, in the end, to stop the repeated patterns of behavior, we still have to let go and move on. Belief changing is one way to do this, which we can do with our therapist, or we can do in our daily lives.
For example, if we believe we are stupid, we find ourselves failing repeatedly at things academic, and we spend a lot of our time thinking self-deprecating thoughts. This belief creates a block to success. It might have come originally from an innocent comment from a parent or teacher. If we make a decision to let go of this belief, we can find ourselves succeeding in things we wouldn't have dreamt of succeeding in before, because we no longer get in a state when we are asked to use our brains or logic. We can think straighter!
But what if we just let go of the need to know why we feel bad, and just got on with dealing with it? What if, whenever we feel bad, we just use a technique like Z Point (www.zpointprocess.com) or letting go in other ways described on my web site www.stressalternatives.co.uk? Quite often, we get insights into the 'whys' when we use these techniques anyway.
Another thing we very commonly do that stops us dealing with it ourselves is blame others. We often will say that we can't feel better till that other person or the rest of our world acts in a certain way. We can't be happy till everyone lines up their tins of beans with the labels at the front or till our loved one stops being angry.
We don't need to know how a car works to get into it and drive it, so why do we insist on understanding how our minds work? It's just wasting time and creating unnecessary suffering.
Ultimately, we can ask ourselves, 'Do we want to know why, or do we want to feel better now?', or 'Do we want to change the world or start with ourselves?'
Honestly, it's that simple!
Love Liz
It's been some time and I'm still plagued by thinking too much so here's some thoughts:
We don't half beat about the bush and create unnecessary suffering for ourselves!
I had someone come for help the other day (and many others like her in the past) who sincerely wanted to get better, so, after listening to her story, I started to suggest ways to quickly reduce her suffering.
'Yes, but', she said, 'What I really want is to find out why I keep feeling the way I do. I feel I won't get better till I know this.'
Now, psychotherapists and counsellers do this, and sometimes it even helps people to understand why they overeat, or self-harm in other ways, or get bad tempered or whatever. They get 'eureka' moments where it all makes sense why they feel guilty when a news item showing cruelty to animals comes on the telly, or why they become enraged by someone moving their carefully lined up tins of beans out of line. They cook up a theory with their therapist that sounds very plausable and intelligent, and they believe it because their therapist is the expert.
It's all very nice to get an explanation that satisfies our curious nature, and gives us a sense of knowing ourself a bit better, but, in the end, to stop the repeated patterns of behavior, we still have to let go and move on. Belief changing is one way to do this, which we can do with our therapist, or we can do in our daily lives.
For example, if we believe we are stupid, we find ourselves failing repeatedly at things academic, and we spend a lot of our time thinking self-deprecating thoughts. This belief creates a block to success. It might have come originally from an innocent comment from a parent or teacher. If we make a decision to let go of this belief, we can find ourselves succeeding in things we wouldn't have dreamt of succeeding in before, because we no longer get in a state when we are asked to use our brains or logic. We can think straighter!
But what if we just let go of the need to know why we feel bad, and just got on with dealing with it? What if, whenever we feel bad, we just use a technique like Z Point (www.zpointprocess.com) or letting go in other ways described on my web site www.stressalternatives.co.uk? Quite often, we get insights into the 'whys' when we use these techniques anyway.
Another thing we very commonly do that stops us dealing with it ourselves is blame others. We often will say that we can't feel better till that other person or the rest of our world acts in a certain way. We can't be happy till everyone lines up their tins of beans with the labels at the front or till our loved one stops being angry.
We don't need to know how a car works to get into it and drive it, so why do we insist on understanding how our minds work? It's just wasting time and creating unnecessary suffering.
Ultimately, we can ask ourselves, 'Do we want to know why, or do we want to feel better now?', or 'Do we want to change the world or start with ourselves?'
Honestly, it's that simple!
Love Liz
Friday, 28 December 2007
Warning Signs
I got a new lease car two weeks ago, and I love it!
I discovered it has a feature that I've never had on any car I've previously had. When it needs diesel, a light comes on, as with other cars I've had, but this one, when it gets dangerously low in fuel, the light starts flashing on and off. I like this! I'm easily pleased!
Wouldn't it be great if we could have a wee warning system like that when it comes to nurturing our mind? If only we had a flashing light that came on when we stopped nurturing our mind.
Actually, we do have a warning system in place. They are called emotions. They let us know by causing us pain that we are thinking something that is bad for us. In a situation that triggers off these thoughts, such as being out of our comfort zone, or rising to an annoying comment, we 'hook'. This process of 'hooking', or thinking a series of thoughts cause the emotional pain.
For example, we might go down the road of thinking thoughts that we are not good enough in a social situation, which might lead to emotional pain of embarrassment and anxiety. We are so wrapped up in our thoughts, i.e. our 'hooking' that we can't be in the 'here and now', and enjoy the social interactions in an authentic way. On top of that, if we don't see the emotional pain for what it is, just the 'warning light', we can start adding more bad thoughts to the 'hook' about how painful it is to be so shy, or shaky, or blushing, or panicky, making the hook bigger and the pain bigger as a result.
But maybe if we seen the emotional pain as the warning light that we are 'hooking', we could 'unhook' or 'let go' and stop the emotional pain. My website has some good tips on how http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/.
With the car, I might decide to be stubborn and ignore the flashing light, and carry on driving, but inevitably the car will come to a halt if I don't take decisive action and buy some fuel, no matter how new or shiny it is!
It isn't so clear cut with us humans if we ignore the warning signals. Yes, we probably come to a halt in the end, but we tend to chunter along for a while in a less than optimum way, getting ill; losing opportunities; forming addictions if we don't take decisive action to 'unhook'.
It's a new way of working, but it puts us in the driving seat!
Happy New Year
Liz
I discovered it has a feature that I've never had on any car I've previously had. When it needs diesel, a light comes on, as with other cars I've had, but this one, when it gets dangerously low in fuel, the light starts flashing on and off. I like this! I'm easily pleased!
Wouldn't it be great if we could have a wee warning system like that when it comes to nurturing our mind? If only we had a flashing light that came on when we stopped nurturing our mind.
Actually, we do have a warning system in place. They are called emotions. They let us know by causing us pain that we are thinking something that is bad for us. In a situation that triggers off these thoughts, such as being out of our comfort zone, or rising to an annoying comment, we 'hook'. This process of 'hooking', or thinking a series of thoughts cause the emotional pain.
For example, we might go down the road of thinking thoughts that we are not good enough in a social situation, which might lead to emotional pain of embarrassment and anxiety. We are so wrapped up in our thoughts, i.e. our 'hooking' that we can't be in the 'here and now', and enjoy the social interactions in an authentic way. On top of that, if we don't see the emotional pain for what it is, just the 'warning light', we can start adding more bad thoughts to the 'hook' about how painful it is to be so shy, or shaky, or blushing, or panicky, making the hook bigger and the pain bigger as a result.
But maybe if we seen the emotional pain as the warning light that we are 'hooking', we could 'unhook' or 'let go' and stop the emotional pain. My website has some good tips on how http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/.
With the car, I might decide to be stubborn and ignore the flashing light, and carry on driving, but inevitably the car will come to a halt if I don't take decisive action and buy some fuel, no matter how new or shiny it is!
It isn't so clear cut with us humans if we ignore the warning signals. Yes, we probably come to a halt in the end, but we tend to chunter along for a while in a less than optimum way, getting ill; losing opportunities; forming addictions if we don't take decisive action to 'unhook'.
It's a new way of working, but it puts us in the driving seat!
Happy New Year
Liz
Read This Several Times!
Here's something for you to get your head round!
When looking at ourselves and making changes, many of us, examining the way we are feeling, or something we are going through or have gone through in the past, look for an explanation or the 'point' of it all before we can feel we can let go and move on. We might often think, 'What's the point?' or, 'Why has this happened?'. We may go to therapy or counselling and pay someone a lot of money for them to help us find the explanation, or we may join a religious organisation or get into the new age scene to help put our experience into a nice framework that explains it all to us.
There may be a point in coming up with a point, but it stops us making progress if we insist on finding the point before we let go! What if we just postponed our need to find the point by asking ourselves, 'What if there is no need to find the point, at least for now?'.
The point is, whether there is a point or not is immaterial! We could just let go of our pain causing thoughts at the point of pain, and move on! Do we get the point?
Actually, our human egos put the idea into our heads that we need an explanation, or a point, as a way of keeping us where we are: as a way of putting off letting go and moving on.
I think letting go of the need to know the 'point' might give us more insight into what the point is in the end! Or maybe there is no point!!
www.stressalternatives.co.uk
When looking at ourselves and making changes, many of us, examining the way we are feeling, or something we are going through or have gone through in the past, look for an explanation or the 'point' of it all before we can feel we can let go and move on. We might often think, 'What's the point?' or, 'Why has this happened?'. We may go to therapy or counselling and pay someone a lot of money for them to help us find the explanation, or we may join a religious organisation or get into the new age scene to help put our experience into a nice framework that explains it all to us.
There may be a point in coming up with a point, but it stops us making progress if we insist on finding the point before we let go! What if we just postponed our need to find the point by asking ourselves, 'What if there is no need to find the point, at least for now?'.
The point is, whether there is a point or not is immaterial! We could just let go of our pain causing thoughts at the point of pain, and move on! Do we get the point?
Actually, our human egos put the idea into our heads that we need an explanation, or a point, as a way of keeping us where we are: as a way of putting off letting go and moving on.
I think letting go of the need to know the 'point' might give us more insight into what the point is in the end! Or maybe there is no point!!
www.stressalternatives.co.uk
Tuesday, 21 August 2007
Post Holiday Resolutions
Happy summertime!
There's certain times of the year that are ripe for making positive changes. The main one is at New Year when people decide on resolutions, and for me, another one comes after the summer break. As I've just got the kids off to school for the new term, my own intentions are set again to 'sort out' things I'm not happy with, let go of a few things that create clutter and really get down to the business of my New Year's resolutions.
This year, I've felt more than others that I can do this as I have set more definite goals than ever before, and have kept them in my mind often, and have found ways of keeping the sabotage under control. I believe that the sabotage has always managed to stop me before.
Whenever we set an intention to improve things for ourselves, our sabotage or 'self-destruct' parts show up pretty quickly. Where do they come from? It's tempting to think it's the devil testing us, and some people buy into this, and who am I to argue? Maybe the 'devil' is just that destructive part of us rather than a malevolent power outside of ourselves.
For example, when you start on the diet, what do you see all around but lovely fattening food! When you decide to declutter your house, you go down with extreme fatigue, or get taken off on a 2 hour trip into nostalgia when you come across your old photos, or suddenly you MUST watch this very interesting daytime TV show about the latest fashion to hit the swimwear industry, even though you can't swim!
In my work with people with anxiety and depression, of course it is nearly always everyone's intention to 'get better', and I have lots of suggestions to help with this; many that really work, but people either don't carry out my suggestions, or do it for a bit, experience changes for the better, but then stop doing the work with lots of different excuses. I can forgive them for this as I do it too. But why? If it makes things better, why not keep doing it? Sometimes it's because it's very hard work, and it is if we don't deal with the sabotage buttons in our mind. It's like driving the car with the brakes on.
One of the biggest sabotage buttons is mistrust of the process. A feeling that, 'This won't work', or that, 'What's the point? I'll only fail!' will act as our 'brakes'. Some people form such a strong belief that they are always right (not me!) that the sabotage buttons will always be pressed if even a small part of them has this belief.
How quickly the sabotage shows up after a good intention is set will give a measure of how big it is. Trouble is, it's not always something you can explain. Yes, it's obvious it's there because it stops us achieving, but to say 'Aha, that's because I am frightened of change', eg when working on confidence, or 'That's because I feel guilty about letting go' when working on a bereavement, isn't easy. The reasons for sabotage could be many and could take years figuring it all out with a therapist.
But what if you could get a metaphorical vacuum cleaner that sucked out all the sabotaging beliefs, thoughts and emotions? Even the ones we are unaware of, ie, our subconscious ones, which are usually a lot like the submerged part of an iceberg, ie, a huge part of us.
This year, I found a particularly effective cleanser for my subconscious sabotagers, in the form of the Z point process. Here's a small example of how I used it the other day. I had the task of cleaning my house hanging over me like a huge dark cloud and felt so fatigued (I'm a bit averse to housework!). I used the Z point process' ETT technique before I got started, then had a brilliantly productive day. I'm so chuffed! Placebo? Well that's another subject for another day!
Check these websites: www.Zpointprocess.com
www.stressalternatives.co.uk
There's certain times of the year that are ripe for making positive changes. The main one is at New Year when people decide on resolutions, and for me, another one comes after the summer break. As I've just got the kids off to school for the new term, my own intentions are set again to 'sort out' things I'm not happy with, let go of a few things that create clutter and really get down to the business of my New Year's resolutions.
This year, I've felt more than others that I can do this as I have set more definite goals than ever before, and have kept them in my mind often, and have found ways of keeping the sabotage under control. I believe that the sabotage has always managed to stop me before.
Whenever we set an intention to improve things for ourselves, our sabotage or 'self-destruct' parts show up pretty quickly. Where do they come from? It's tempting to think it's the devil testing us, and some people buy into this, and who am I to argue? Maybe the 'devil' is just that destructive part of us rather than a malevolent power outside of ourselves.
For example, when you start on the diet, what do you see all around but lovely fattening food! When you decide to declutter your house, you go down with extreme fatigue, or get taken off on a 2 hour trip into nostalgia when you come across your old photos, or suddenly you MUST watch this very interesting daytime TV show about the latest fashion to hit the swimwear industry, even though you can't swim!
In my work with people with anxiety and depression, of course it is nearly always everyone's intention to 'get better', and I have lots of suggestions to help with this; many that really work, but people either don't carry out my suggestions, or do it for a bit, experience changes for the better, but then stop doing the work with lots of different excuses. I can forgive them for this as I do it too. But why? If it makes things better, why not keep doing it? Sometimes it's because it's very hard work, and it is if we don't deal with the sabotage buttons in our mind. It's like driving the car with the brakes on.
One of the biggest sabotage buttons is mistrust of the process. A feeling that, 'This won't work', or that, 'What's the point? I'll only fail!' will act as our 'brakes'. Some people form such a strong belief that they are always right (not me!) that the sabotage buttons will always be pressed if even a small part of them has this belief.
How quickly the sabotage shows up after a good intention is set will give a measure of how big it is. Trouble is, it's not always something you can explain. Yes, it's obvious it's there because it stops us achieving, but to say 'Aha, that's because I am frightened of change', eg when working on confidence, or 'That's because I feel guilty about letting go' when working on a bereavement, isn't easy. The reasons for sabotage could be many and could take years figuring it all out with a therapist.
But what if you could get a metaphorical vacuum cleaner that sucked out all the sabotaging beliefs, thoughts and emotions? Even the ones we are unaware of, ie, our subconscious ones, which are usually a lot like the submerged part of an iceberg, ie, a huge part of us.
This year, I found a particularly effective cleanser for my subconscious sabotagers, in the form of the Z point process. Here's a small example of how I used it the other day. I had the task of cleaning my house hanging over me like a huge dark cloud and felt so fatigued (I'm a bit averse to housework!). I used the Z point process' ETT technique before I got started, then had a brilliantly productive day. I'm so chuffed! Placebo? Well that's another subject for another day!
Check these websites: www.Zpointprocess.com
www.stressalternatives.co.uk
Tuesday, 17 July 2007
Natural Urges and the Conscious Mind
I'd like to introduce you to 2 members of our family: Candy and Sandy. They're our gerbils!
We have a bit of a problem with them. They chew away the plastic door to their cage, then they can escape, as Candy did in the middle of the night, and scared the life out of me scuttling around under my bed! I thought we had rats!
They are very busy animals. In between sleeping, they work, chewing and burrowing. When you put even strong tape on the door, they chew through that too! The only way to deal with the problem is to keep them supplied with other things to chew, like toilet roll middles and their favourite: egg boxes. If only we ate more eggs!
Us humans are different. We may have urges to behave in certain ways, but because we can think things through, we can resist doing that which is 'wrong', but it isn't always easy. Sometimes we have to replace one habit with another. If we feel restless and are constantly looking for activity, like Candy and Sandy, we can decide to focus our energy on something productive (like chewing egg boxes!) or we can choose to do something destructive (like chewing doors!). (Or maybe Candy and Sandy really do know about the door leading to freedom!)
But it isn't that simple. Why would we ever choose the door rather than the delicious egg box? When we keep going back to the door, it's because we 'resonate' with it rather than the egg box! Why do we keep going back to chocolate, when trying to lose weight, rather than eating fruit? Because we resonate with it. The part of us that creates the resonance is our 'mind pollution', and can mostly be unconscious. Like an iceberg, the unconscious mind is unseen and not obvious, unless we know what to look for. Life gives us signals all the time. Whatever gives us emotional pain acts as a signal. This could be in the form of a person or situation that creates emotional pain, or that which comes from emotional pain, i.e. physical sensations and tensions or bad behavioural habits.
Beliefs are what we bring from the past to the present. Negative beliefs create fear and tension and make us resonate with destructive things. If we didn't have the tension, we wouldn't feel the need to 'chew the cage door'. In traditional psychotherapy, the purpose would be to make the unconscious beliefs conscious, then work on letting them go.
However, getting rid of the tension is much easier than you think, if you are willing to be open to the possibility that 'energy therapies' work. You don't have to identify all your self destructive beliefs either! My favourite self help ones are 'Timeline Detachment Practice' (invented by me!), 'EFT' and 'Z point process', and for those who don't want self help, homeopathy. There's lots of free information and links on my website: http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/.
Got to go! I've got two eggs left in that box. It's time to make pancakes!!
We have a bit of a problem with them. They chew away the plastic door to their cage, then they can escape, as Candy did in the middle of the night, and scared the life out of me scuttling around under my bed! I thought we had rats!
They are very busy animals. In between sleeping, they work, chewing and burrowing. When you put even strong tape on the door, they chew through that too! The only way to deal with the problem is to keep them supplied with other things to chew, like toilet roll middles and their favourite: egg boxes. If only we ate more eggs!
Us humans are different. We may have urges to behave in certain ways, but because we can think things through, we can resist doing that which is 'wrong', but it isn't always easy. Sometimes we have to replace one habit with another. If we feel restless and are constantly looking for activity, like Candy and Sandy, we can decide to focus our energy on something productive (like chewing egg boxes!) or we can choose to do something destructive (like chewing doors!). (Or maybe Candy and Sandy really do know about the door leading to freedom!)
But it isn't that simple. Why would we ever choose the door rather than the delicious egg box? When we keep going back to the door, it's because we 'resonate' with it rather than the egg box! Why do we keep going back to chocolate, when trying to lose weight, rather than eating fruit? Because we resonate with it. The part of us that creates the resonance is our 'mind pollution', and can mostly be unconscious. Like an iceberg, the unconscious mind is unseen and not obvious, unless we know what to look for. Life gives us signals all the time. Whatever gives us emotional pain acts as a signal. This could be in the form of a person or situation that creates emotional pain, or that which comes from emotional pain, i.e. physical sensations and tensions or bad behavioural habits.
Beliefs are what we bring from the past to the present. Negative beliefs create fear and tension and make us resonate with destructive things. If we didn't have the tension, we wouldn't feel the need to 'chew the cage door'. In traditional psychotherapy, the purpose would be to make the unconscious beliefs conscious, then work on letting them go.
However, getting rid of the tension is much easier than you think, if you are willing to be open to the possibility that 'energy therapies' work. You don't have to identify all your self destructive beliefs either! My favourite self help ones are 'Timeline Detachment Practice' (invented by me!), 'EFT' and 'Z point process', and for those who don't want self help, homeopathy. There's lots of free information and links on my website: http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/.
Got to go! I've got two eggs left in that box. It's time to make pancakes!!
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