Hi
Here's a different way to look at our stress.
What if we could see it as the stressed naughty child inside of us that clambers for our attention? Long ago this child was born inside us, often as a result of a difficult event in our little susceptible young minds.
We might have matured as adults, but some part of us is stuck in the past, creating that pattern of thoughts, emotional tension and behaviour. That part kind of got stuck and didn't mature alongside us, even though it is still part of us.
We do all sorts of things to avoid or deal with that stress our child inside displays to us. See my blog, How to increase your emotional pain and keep it alive. We give it plenty of negative attention in the form of ignoring it, fighting it, suppressing it etc., and, like the naughty child, it ends up ruling us, and stopping us really living life to the full.
Often it's a crisis such as illness, addiction, relationship conflict or depression that can make us stop and examine the stressed child. Sometimes, even these crises have to be experienced over and over, and medical treatment failing or a new relationship create the same old problems.
Actually, the stressed child is not the 'devil incarnate' tho we sometimes call them our 'inner demons'. That younger part of us made certain conclusions and decisions during that difficult time in our lives that helped us make sense of and cope with what was going on at the time. Things like 'I'm not as good as others' in response to a failure, or 'I'll never get over ....' or 'I'll have to make up for being bad' keep the child stuck in the past and keep the program running in our subconscious mind, and all we know is that we feel panic when we get critisised or anger when we are ignored or guilty when we have to say no.
In traditional therapy, we would try and identify when the stressed child was born and try to understand it. This is fine, but takes a long time and isn't easy to do on one's own, but, like when you talk to the stressed child, it stops stressing.
In energy therapies, we just aim to calm that stressed child as quick as possible. When a child keeps tugging at you looking for attention, any good attention will calm them and bring out the best in them. Bad attention will just keep it stressed.
Next time that immature part of us causes stressed feelings, instead of thinking, 'This should not be happening!', we could try imagining us and it working together arm in arm to help us. I suspect that as a result of that alone without any fancy therapy it would start to grow up quite quickly and stop stressing itself and us!
For all the quick calming measures though, see my website: www.stressalternatives.co.uk.
Happy 2010 from Liz!
Showing posts with label energy therapy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label energy therapy. Show all posts
Saturday, 30 January 2010
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
Mind Grooves
Hi
Sorry to go on about my dog again, but Taz has been giving us problems again! Or should I say 'challenges'? Or should I say, "He's been a little.....!" So much so that we were given the services of a brilliant dog behaviourist,Paul (www.K9ClickerTraining.co.uk) from our dog rescue centre. He reckons Taz does naughty stuff, not because of anxiety and the need to relieve tension, but because he's got a 'devilish' streak, and acts like that because he can! In other words, we have allowed the behaviour to develop.
Of course, to stop the behaviour now is going to cause initial tension because the habit has already been formed. So us humans have been given a set of instructions on how to allow him to feel the discomfort and calm him when we 'orchestrate' the trigger. (I love that expression 'orchestrate'!) After a few repetitions of calming, the bad behaviour stops and our doggy becomes a little angel!
Bad habits become ingrained just as easily in humans if they are repeated. We can calm ourselves when we realise we are going down the habitual route, unlike dogs who don't have an awareness of the trigger to behaviour route.
The trigger to behaviour route becomes a familiar groove in our mind the more often it is repeated.It also includes thoughts and feelings. In fact, the grooves we make in our minds feel like bobsleigh routes for some. Some patterns of behaviour we have been repeating over and over all our lives. For example, someone irritates us, and, before we know it, we're moaning, critisising or having a go at them. Someone moans at us, and, before we know it, we react by getting defensive and self-righteous. For someone who has built up self-consciousness about their appearance, the trigger can be as simple as passing a mirror, and the bobsleigh route of thoughts, feelings, panic symptoms and behaviour follow in micro-seconds.
Habitual thoughts are a result of those bobsleigh routes too. Some folk can hook on to suicidal ones. Some will think,'What's the point?' Some will think, 'I don't have enough.' Some will think, 'I am sick.'
Those thoughts are connected to painful feelings. It's all so sad!
Or what if we could make use of those painful feelings to remind us we're on the bobsleigh route?
So how do we stop ourselves going down the routes? After all, the routes are deep grooves!
If we can calm a dog, maybe we could calm ourselves! Maybe we could 'orchestrate' the trigger to behaviour/ thoughts/ feelings route a few times and deliberately calm ourselves in some way to replace that tension that the trigger activated? What if we deliberately thought about our lack of money, or our fearful or suicidal thoughts and intend to calm our resulting tension at that point?
There's loads of ways to change that tension to relaxation, from deliberate distraction to gratitude to energy therapies. Energy therapies make it so much quicker and less repetition and 'orchestration' will be necessary.
Look on my website: www.stressalternatives.co.uk. Look especially at my 'Intentional detachment practice' article.
Time for 'walkies'!
Sorry to go on about my dog again, but Taz has been giving us problems again! Or should I say 'challenges'? Or should I say, "He's been a little.....!" So much so that we were given the services of a brilliant dog behaviourist,Paul (www.K9ClickerTraining.co.uk) from our dog rescue centre. He reckons Taz does naughty stuff, not because of anxiety and the need to relieve tension, but because he's got a 'devilish' streak, and acts like that because he can! In other words, we have allowed the behaviour to develop.
Of course, to stop the behaviour now is going to cause initial tension because the habit has already been formed. So us humans have been given a set of instructions on how to allow him to feel the discomfort and calm him when we 'orchestrate' the trigger. (I love that expression 'orchestrate'!) After a few repetitions of calming, the bad behaviour stops and our doggy becomes a little angel!
Bad habits become ingrained just as easily in humans if they are repeated. We can calm ourselves when we realise we are going down the habitual route, unlike dogs who don't have an awareness of the trigger to behaviour route.
The trigger to behaviour route becomes a familiar groove in our mind the more often it is repeated.It also includes thoughts and feelings. In fact, the grooves we make in our minds feel like bobsleigh routes for some. Some patterns of behaviour we have been repeating over and over all our lives. For example, someone irritates us, and, before we know it, we're moaning, critisising or having a go at them. Someone moans at us, and, before we know it, we react by getting defensive and self-righteous. For someone who has built up self-consciousness about their appearance, the trigger can be as simple as passing a mirror, and the bobsleigh route of thoughts, feelings, panic symptoms and behaviour follow in micro-seconds.
Habitual thoughts are a result of those bobsleigh routes too. Some folk can hook on to suicidal ones. Some will think,'What's the point?' Some will think, 'I don't have enough.' Some will think, 'I am sick.'
Those thoughts are connected to painful feelings. It's all so sad!
Or what if we could make use of those painful feelings to remind us we're on the bobsleigh route?
So how do we stop ourselves going down the routes? After all, the routes are deep grooves!
If we can calm a dog, maybe we could calm ourselves! Maybe we could 'orchestrate' the trigger to behaviour/ thoughts/ feelings route a few times and deliberately calm ourselves in some way to replace that tension that the trigger activated? What if we deliberately thought about our lack of money, or our fearful or suicidal thoughts and intend to calm our resulting tension at that point?
There's loads of ways to change that tension to relaxation, from deliberate distraction to gratitude to energy therapies. Energy therapies make it so much quicker and less repetition and 'orchestration' will be necessary.
Look on my website: www.stressalternatives.co.uk. Look especially at my 'Intentional detachment practice' article.
Time for 'walkies'!
Tuesday, 17 July 2007
Natural Urges and the Conscious Mind
I'd like to introduce you to 2 members of our family: Candy and Sandy. They're our gerbils!
We have a bit of a problem with them. They chew away the plastic door to their cage, then they can escape, as Candy did in the middle of the night, and scared the life out of me scuttling around under my bed! I thought we had rats!
They are very busy animals. In between sleeping, they work, chewing and burrowing. When you put even strong tape on the door, they chew through that too! The only way to deal with the problem is to keep them supplied with other things to chew, like toilet roll middles and their favourite: egg boxes. If only we ate more eggs!
Us humans are different. We may have urges to behave in certain ways, but because we can think things through, we can resist doing that which is 'wrong', but it isn't always easy. Sometimes we have to replace one habit with another. If we feel restless and are constantly looking for activity, like Candy and Sandy, we can decide to focus our energy on something productive (like chewing egg boxes!) or we can choose to do something destructive (like chewing doors!). (Or maybe Candy and Sandy really do know about the door leading to freedom!)
But it isn't that simple. Why would we ever choose the door rather than the delicious egg box? When we keep going back to the door, it's because we 'resonate' with it rather than the egg box! Why do we keep going back to chocolate, when trying to lose weight, rather than eating fruit? Because we resonate with it. The part of us that creates the resonance is our 'mind pollution', and can mostly be unconscious. Like an iceberg, the unconscious mind is unseen and not obvious, unless we know what to look for. Life gives us signals all the time. Whatever gives us emotional pain acts as a signal. This could be in the form of a person or situation that creates emotional pain, or that which comes from emotional pain, i.e. physical sensations and tensions or bad behavioural habits.
Beliefs are what we bring from the past to the present. Negative beliefs create fear and tension and make us resonate with destructive things. If we didn't have the tension, we wouldn't feel the need to 'chew the cage door'. In traditional psychotherapy, the purpose would be to make the unconscious beliefs conscious, then work on letting them go.
However, getting rid of the tension is much easier than you think, if you are willing to be open to the possibility that 'energy therapies' work. You don't have to identify all your self destructive beliefs either! My favourite self help ones are 'Timeline Detachment Practice' (invented by me!), 'EFT' and 'Z point process', and for those who don't want self help, homeopathy. There's lots of free information and links on my website: http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/.
Got to go! I've got two eggs left in that box. It's time to make pancakes!!
We have a bit of a problem with them. They chew away the plastic door to their cage, then they can escape, as Candy did in the middle of the night, and scared the life out of me scuttling around under my bed! I thought we had rats!
They are very busy animals. In between sleeping, they work, chewing and burrowing. When you put even strong tape on the door, they chew through that too! The only way to deal with the problem is to keep them supplied with other things to chew, like toilet roll middles and their favourite: egg boxes. If only we ate more eggs!
Us humans are different. We may have urges to behave in certain ways, but because we can think things through, we can resist doing that which is 'wrong', but it isn't always easy. Sometimes we have to replace one habit with another. If we feel restless and are constantly looking for activity, like Candy and Sandy, we can decide to focus our energy on something productive (like chewing egg boxes!) or we can choose to do something destructive (like chewing doors!). (Or maybe Candy and Sandy really do know about the door leading to freedom!)
But it isn't that simple. Why would we ever choose the door rather than the delicious egg box? When we keep going back to the door, it's because we 'resonate' with it rather than the egg box! Why do we keep going back to chocolate, when trying to lose weight, rather than eating fruit? Because we resonate with it. The part of us that creates the resonance is our 'mind pollution', and can mostly be unconscious. Like an iceberg, the unconscious mind is unseen and not obvious, unless we know what to look for. Life gives us signals all the time. Whatever gives us emotional pain acts as a signal. This could be in the form of a person or situation that creates emotional pain, or that which comes from emotional pain, i.e. physical sensations and tensions or bad behavioural habits.
Beliefs are what we bring from the past to the present. Negative beliefs create fear and tension and make us resonate with destructive things. If we didn't have the tension, we wouldn't feel the need to 'chew the cage door'. In traditional psychotherapy, the purpose would be to make the unconscious beliefs conscious, then work on letting them go.
However, getting rid of the tension is much easier than you think, if you are willing to be open to the possibility that 'energy therapies' work. You don't have to identify all your self destructive beliefs either! My favourite self help ones are 'Timeline Detachment Practice' (invented by me!), 'EFT' and 'Z point process', and for those who don't want self help, homeopathy. There's lots of free information and links on my website: http://www.stressalternatives.co.uk/.
Got to go! I've got two eggs left in that box. It's time to make pancakes!!
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