Having a Bad Day

Happy Halloween
I was feeilng really negative and critical and dissatisfied yesterday, for no particular reason. The gloom just came from nowhere that I can think of, and made me feel like I wanted to hide away and blame the world for this awful struggle I was feeling.

I racked my brain trying to put it down to various things that had happened the previous few days, or the changing of the clocks to winter, or bad news about one of my family member's health, but nothing quite explained it to my satisfaction. Then I blamed the full moon, and my menstrual cycle, then I found a horoscope that predicted 'emotional turmoil' for the early part of the day due to 'moon-jupiter' something or other, so that got the blame (I quite liked that explanation!). One of the times I felt like this before, I had taken myself to the gym to try and shake it off, and when I looked at the TV screens there, it was the Pope's funeral, so I reckoned I was just picking up on the mood of the millions who were grieving his loss.

The truth is though, we can analyse our emotional pain as much as we like, but we really don't ever know why it's there. Having an explanation like, 'My father critisised me when I was young', or 'The full moon affects water balance, and we are 70% water' might appeal to us, but the former can be used as an excuse to continue underachieving and feeling sorry for ourself, and the latter can have us dreading every full moon!

However, if we use these explanations to say, 'That's OK. Maybe I'm just going through a normal low, but it's a bit more than normal because I'm tired, or life's a bit demanding at the moment', we can watch ourself having this feeling and know that no feelings can last forever. In other words, we 'let go' of the need to be anything else but where we are just now. When we do that, it doesn't affect us so badly, and we come out of it quicker too.

I read a brilliant quote the other day that goes like this, 'When you are going through hell, keep going'. I'd like to add, 'Don't stop to figure out why' and 'Try not to act like the devil while you're there!'.

I'm feeling much better now. I just have a couple of apologies to make to the victims of my grumpy mood!!

Funny how I don't feel the need to find an explanation for my 'normal' state!

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